It was Not Bad!

It's been quite a long time since last time i posted something here. Looking back, i remember, everytime i posted an article on this blog, there is a feeling of doubt and fear when im about to click the "publish" button. I doubted myself. I feared that people won't like my writting. I feared that mistakes on my writting will embarrass myself. But hey, i hit that publish button anyway. For that, im proud of you Thoriq!

Seeing my old posts, i was amazed on how pure i was back then. Last time i posted an article on this blog was on March this year. It's not that long ago. But oh boy, i think i have changed my mind quite much since then. I feel like a crook right now. My goals today is just a mere delusion of grandeur. I want girls, i want money, i want swag, i want respect, i want friends, i want everything that other people have. Where is my good will? when and how did i lose it?

I just entered college this year and i met so many people with various type of quality here. I think, since then, i started to meet other people's expectation of what should i do and what should i become and i started living on it. Im tearing up a bit as i write this :'(. I miss my old self. I miss my ambition. I miss my dreams. I miss the way i look into the world. I miss that time when i always tell myself "today is gonna be great!" every morning. Can you comeback man?

Aside of that, im really grateful that i have the chance to reflect on myself like this right now. Just want to let myself to know that i appreciate myself so much. You don't need people's approval to be great. You define your own happiness. You are a good man, stay be that!